Parenting Tips
By Myrna B. Shure, Ph.D
For the WHYY Children's Service

Homework: When to Do It

Does your child put off his homework? Promise he'll do it later? And still go to bed without it getting done? David's mom, feeling exasperated yelled, "David, you're not doing your homework again. There'll be no TV and no friends over until your homework is done!" But David, age 8 answered, "But mom, I'll DO it?" And mom, now at her wits end screamed, "We go through this every day and I want it done NOW! If you don't do your homework, you won't learn anything, the teacher will be angry, and you'll fall behind and start failing in school."

Did David hear a word of this?

Here's how David's mom learned to talk to her about this. She asked, "David, what subjects do you have homework in tonight? And David said, "My words, math, and my science." Mom then asked, "Which one do you want to do first?" "I guess my words," answered David. "Good," said Mom. "Do you want to work on your spelling before or after your snack?"

David, liking these questions said, "After." Mom continued, "OK, and what will you do after you finish your spelling words?" "Play with my friends," said David. Then Mom asked, "OK, and will you do your math before or after dinner?" And David said, "Before." "And your science?" "After." Mom then said, "David, I'm very proud of you. You made your own plan."

A good start. Once your child starts thinking of his own plan, you can add questions as:

• How long do you think that will take?
• What will you do it turns out you need more time?
• What will you do or say if your friend calls while you're doing your homework?

As soon as your child can understand, let him tell you what time he will do each subject.

Children love to make their own plans as early as age 7. And David's mom told me that this conversation with her son changed his attitude about homework. He enjoyed planning his day. He especially enjoyed not being told how to plan it. And now, David is getting his homework done, and doing very well in school.