Fred Rogers: America's Favorite Neighbor

Think of the Children First: What I Continue to Learn From Fred Rogers
By Hedda Sharapan, M.S. Child Development, Associate Producer of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood

"Please think of the children first. If you ever have anything to do with their entertainment, their food, their toys, their child care, their health care, their education -- listen to the children, learn about them, learn from them. Think of the children first." -- Fred M. Rogers

That's one of my favorite quotes from Fred Rogers. In fact, it's very similar to the advice he gave me when I first met him in 1965 -- before Mister Rogers' Neighborhood began production. I wanted his advice about a career in children's television, and it was a surprise to me to hear him encourage me to go on to graduate school -- in child development!

What he was telling me, essentially, was that the important question is not, "What can we give children from the TV set?" but rather, "What do they bring to the set?" Not, "What dramas can we give to them?," but, "What are the inner dramas they bring to us?"

Fred Rogers once told me that as he became more comfortable with the children, he came to realize that if he truly wanted to communicate with children, the most important thing would be to listen. He said, "I had been trying so hard to be somebody for the children that I couldn't let them be themselves with me."

Fred became a remarkable listener. That's what made him such a remarkable communicator.

As he learned the art of listening to children, he was able to tap into the child within him. He could remember childhood feelings. That's why he was able to relate to children so authentically. He could empathize with the children, and that's why they could relate to him.

Actually, that's a gift that can be within anyone's power. In fact, Fred Rogers continually encouraged adults to reach back into their own childhood memories. Once, I worked with Fred Rogers on some writing for ophthalmologists, to help them understand the needs and feelings of children who need eye surgery. He didn't start by "teaching" them child development. Instead, he wrote, "You were a child once ... so you know what it's like to feel small...and powerless."

Fred Rogers recognized the value of those kinds of memories in parenting as well. One of the things that he most appreciated about the longevity of the Neighborhood series was that parents could watch the programs alongside their children -- the programs they themselves grew up with -- awakening their own memories of what they felt when they were children.

What I've also learned from Fred Rogers is that, while he was able to empathize with children and think of their needs first, he remained the adult. He was, after all, "Mister Rogers." Maybe that's one reason children feel so comfortable with his "television visits." Thinking of children first doesn't mean to be childish. Fred Rogers knew that children want adults to be adults...just as they want parents to be adults...teachers to be adults.

We can all take parts of Fred Rogers' messages that resonate within us. That would certainly be the greatest way to honor this giant of a man who taught us by his example the power of listening to the smallest among us -- the children...learning about them...and learning from them. ©Family Communications, Inc. 2003

Fred Rogers: America's Favorite Neighbor, a nostalgic look at the life and work of the beloved television personality, airs Sunday, January 4 at 2:30 p.m. on TV12.