Talking About Kids tips for the January 22nd program, Discipline

There is never a good reason to hit children. Spanking models aggression as a solution to problems and does not teach the morality of correct behavior.

Try to understand the underlying reasons for a child's misbehavior so that the misbehavior can be prevented.

Know what behaviors are developmentally normal; for instance, it is to be expected that when frustrated, two-year-olds may have temper tantrums.

Remember that rewards, reinforcements, and praise are powerful ways to influence children to be "good."

From the earliest age possible, begin to explain to children the moral reasons for positive behaviors, rather than threatening punishment if they misbehave. For example, you can say, "Billy, you might hurt your brother when you hit him," rather than, "Billy, if you hit your brother I will smack you."

From an early age, establish daily patterns of communication in which your children learn to express their feelings without fear of condemnation. It is better for your child to express anger in words than to strike out physically.

Let your children think about how to solve the problem in light of how they and others might feel. Teaching empathy helps children not want to hurt others now, or later. Children "own" the solutions they think of themselves and are more likely to act on them.

When disapproval of a what the child is doing is warranted, express disapproval of the behavior, not the child. Avoid name calling, put downs, or denigrating, demeaning statements.

Positive discipline is not permissive discipline. It is not merely allowing children to do what they want. It is giving children the empathic, moral behaviors we all want for our children.

From: The Case Against Spanking: How to Discipline Your Child Without Hitting
by Dr. Irwin A. Hyman
Contact Dr. Hyman at: (215) 204-6091
E-Mail: NCSCPA@BLUE.VM.TEMPLE.EDU